Do you trip over apologies every time you say no?
Despite a well-known songster’s suggestion that sorry is the hardest word to say, most of us find saying no even harder. Sometimes it’s due to our own disorganization, and other times it’s because we’re uncertain about a pending decision. Even to things we know we’re not interested in, we often hesitate to say no because we either don’t want to miss out on anything or, we don’t want to let someone down. As a result, we’re left harried, hurried, and hopelessly overcommitted and unbalanced. Next time, before you say “yes!” pause for a moment to do a comparison of the rewards versus the repercussions of yet another obligation.
Know what you really want to do with your life and time. It’s not your imagination, these days you do have more to do and you’re expected to do it all in much less time. Also, thinking that you’ll get it all done if you just work smarter, not harder still leave you with things undone. No matter how smart you are, you can’t get everything done. While saying a firm no can be challenging, it’s a skill that can be learned. It’s easiest to say “no” to something when you know in your heart exactly what you want to say a resounding “yes!” to.
Here are five ways you can graciously get out of things you don’t have the time, the attention, or the enthusiasm for:
- The pleasant no. Saying “no” sincerely is a kinder, gentler no that upholds the value of the other person and their request.
- The conditional no. This is one of the most versatile and valuable ways of saying no. Here you set conditions for saying “yes” without giving up your higher priorities.
- The sleep-on-it no. This gives you time to assess your priorities and ensures a sincere response on your part.
- The alternative-solution no. It shows your willingness to help solve the problem and tells the other person that he/she is valued.
- The confident no. Consider the monosyllabic word no to be a complete sentence. Confidence is the key. You can soften its blow by combining these three words: no, thank, and you.
Our daily decisions will either limit us or liberate us. As challenging as it can be to turn people, opportunities and adventures down, saying no to something you’re not primed for will always leave you open to say yes to something you’re passionate about. We all know at an instinctive level what we have the emotion, expertise, and energy to commit to, yet we often ignore that voice. No matter how enticing an opportunity may seem, participating can skew your priorities and leave you battling to find balance. Some people will not accept your response and sometimes, even the smallest decision requires some soul searching. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground.
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To Your Success,
Althea
Althea A. McLeish Wilson, RN, MSN
Promoting inner health & outer beauty!
Helping you thrive, not just survive!!
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For more information, please leave a comment or contact me at althea@altheamcleish.com.
