Have you checked your self-esteem lately?
I looked at the questions in an interactive self-esteem test recently and, for most of the questions, mentally checked “occasionally!” I realized though that it is normal for self-esteem to fluctuate depending on your circumstances and it is normal to go through times when you feel down. Overall, self-esteem generally stays in a range that reflects how you feel about yourself overall. Self-esteem is all about how you estimate yourself and, if you don’t rate yourself very highly, others won’t either.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are similar, but two different concepts and are often used interchangeably when referring to how one feels about oneself. Self-esteem is about how much self-respect, positive regard or self-love you have for yourself while self-confidence is about your abilities, which can vary from situation to situation. The good news is that you can work on both at the same time because when you love yourself, your self-esteem improves, and in-turn improves your confidence. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your overall sense of esteem.
Benefits of a healthy self-esteem:
- An accurate view of yourself – a good opinion of your abilities while recognizing your flaws.
- Mental well-being – realistic in your expectations and less critical of yourself and others.
- Assertive in expressing your needs and opinions.
- More resilient and better able to weather stress and setbacks.
- Balanced and confident in your ability to make decisions.
- Feel secure and worthwhile – able to form secure and honest relationships and less likely to stay in unhealthy ones.
- Less likely to experience feelings of worthlessness, guilt and shame.
- Less likely to develop eating disorders.
Self-esteem begins to form in early childhood and develops over time from experiences and situations that affect how you view yourself today. Self-esteem is shaped by your thoughts, relationships, and experiences. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others.
Factors that can influence self-esteem:
- Your own thoughts and perceptions.
- How other people react to you.
- Experiences at home, school, work and in the community.
- Illness, disability or injury.
- Culture or religion.
- Role and status in society.
- Media messages.
The more we recognize our challenges with self-esteem, the more aware we become of improvements that can be made. Self-esteem affects virtually every facet of your life. Maintaining a healthy, realistic view of yourself is not about blowing your own horn but about learning to like and respect yourself, faults and all!
Suggestions to help build your self-esteem:
- Guard your self-talk – whether you know it or not, you have a running conversation with yourself all the time.
- Stop comparing yourself to others. – comparing yourself to others is a needless distraction. The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday.
- Move beyond your limiting beliefs – “You’ve got to have faith in your curveball.” the greatest limitations people experience on their lives are usually the ones they impose upon themselves.
- Add value to others – Because people with low self-esteem often see themselves as inadequate or feel like victims they focus inordinately on themselves. They can become self-protective and selfish because they feel that they have to be to survive.
Your self-esteem won’t come from body parts. You need to step away from the mirror every once in a while and look for another reflection, like the one in the eyes of the people who love you and admire you. – Stacy London
Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction. – Margaret Thatcher
Greater self-esteem produces greater success, and greater success produces more high self-esteem, so it keeps on spiraling up. – Jack Canfield
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To Your Success,
Althea
Althea A. McLeish Wilson, RN, MSN
Educate . Empower . Encourage
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