“You cannot set your hope on the illusion that you will finally reach a point where life will be nothing but smooth sailing from here on out.” – James MacDonald
Despite occasional blue skies, dark clouds inevitably gather on the horizon. At some point, we end up needing all the help we can get, but most of us are afraid to ask.
I’ve been there…….
Family caregiving is one of the most challenging and stressful roles a person is ever asked to undertake. To make matters worse, being willing to ask for help can be daunting because it requires you to lower the drawbridge and admit that you’re having trouble coping. That willingness takes guts or enough desperation to allow others to see how vulnerable you are. While a few families are strengthened under the adversity of illness or disability, even the most stable ones disintegrate without a strong support system and good direction.
Here’s one caregiver’s story found in The Caregiving Wife’s Handbook♦:
“Alvio and Jennifer were married right after college, some 45 years ago. When Jennifer learned that her darling Alvio had emphysema, she was devastated. Like most wives, Jennifer immersed herself in her husband’s care. Jennifer knows a good wife doesn’t let a sick husband do things himself. So even though Alvio is still able to do most everything and doesn’t need much help, Jennifer does everything and takes care of all of his needs. After all, his life is at stake! But Jennifer is so caught up in his care that she doesn’t notice its negative effects.
Now, her life is buried in a list of to-dos for Alvio. She no longer enjoys her favorite activities, partly because she doesn’t have time and partly because she doesn’t have the energy. She won’t accept help from anybody. She thinks it will take too long to give directions, and others won’t do things right anyway. Yet she is irritated with people who don’t offer help.
She is beyond exhausted, and is angry with Alvio, with herself and at how her life has turned into something she hates. And she is harming Alvio. Her anger spills over into his care and she is often abrupt and insensitive with him. In subtle ways, and with the best of intentions, she does further damage because her over caring turns Alvio into a physical as well as an emotional invalid.”
Fortunately, after decades of blindness to the plight of caregivers, their challenges are coming to the forefront of our awareness. But although many resources are available, I still meet family caregivers who are “doing it all themselves” for various reasons: they did not ask for help, or they’ve exhausted help from their family and friends or they had no idea help is available to them.
Let your cry for help be heard……
Family Caregiving can be rewarding, but providing long-term care for a loved one may also be physically and mentally taxing. Whether caring for a spouse, a parent or a child, help from any source will reduce your workload. This will, in turn, lead to the added benefits of reduced anger and stress, improved communication with your loved one and more time for yourself. Your home will be more peaceful and you’ll be able to help your loved one feel stronger, capable and more independent.
“There’s no magic word or action that can make caregiving easier. It’s a very difficult time. But we can and should provide the best support we can so that no caregiver’s health or well-being suffers.” – Sara Honn Qualls
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To Your Success,
Althea
Althea A. McLeish Wilson, RN, MSN
Promoting inner health & outer beauty!
Helping you thrive, not just survive!!
PS. Inner Health & Outer Beauty Store♦: Health & Wellness with Althea♦
PPS. Did You Find This Helpful? If so, please feel free to share!! Leave a comment or contact me at althea@altheamcleish.com.
