If you were given just a few months to live what would you regret most?
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” – Bronnie Ware
All of us will experience some regrets in life. Rather than retreating and allowing them to sink you into depression, use the pain of regret as a floatation device to help reshape your decisions and your future.
A research conducted with patients who had less than six months to live found that most of their regrets were about things they DID NOT DO as opposed to things they did. Some of their most common regrets were:
- Not seizing the day. Regret over not doing what they really wanted to do and ending up with unfulfilled dreams, ambitions, and hopes because they were too busy, too distracted, or procrastinated too much. This life is not a “dress rehearsal,” now maybe your only real opportunity.
- Not having the courage to express their feelings. Regret over not taking the time to call or write to express their gratitude, and express positive feelings to others.
- Not keeping up with friends. Regret over not making the effort to maintain relationships. Making friends require skill and maintaining these friendships takes time and effort. But there are also great rewards involved. Friends can be a source of comfort and support in bad times, and real friends will give without counting the cost.
- Not being happier. This regret was more about fear of change and sticking to their comfort zones. Instead of doing the little silly, often childlike, things that brought extreme happiness they were inhibited by inner and outer constraining forces, self-pretense and concerns over what others would say.
- Regret working so hard. Every male in the study had some regret about missing their children’s youth and the companionship of their partner. This regret isn’t simply about working so hard, but about working so hard on things that didn’t matter to them.
So, what matters to you?
The whole purpose of your life needs to be true to you, and not what others expect of you. Since we can’t change the past, we can focus on transforming the present and do things to positively impact our future. You will make mistakes, some big, some small, and feeling sorry is a good thing. However, prolonged regret can interfere with all areas of your life – health, wealth, and happiness. Own up to your values and contributions, try new things and explore new ideas.
“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” – Steve Maraboli
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To Your Success,
Althea
Althea A. McLeish Wilson, RN, MSN
Promoting inner health & outer beauty!
Helping you thrive, not just survive!!
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Reference:
The Psychology of Regret – Psychology Today♦